As I look past the shadows I see the true lady.
She is the one who hides what she is going through from family and friends.
She is surviving but existing by a thread.
She has learned to escape in a secretive way.
She has learned what it means to be truly loved.
Found by true friends she learns to live again.
Picking up the pieces she rebuilds her heart.
Her friends cement the shatter shards into a beating heart again.
With the strength of character she resolves to create a new beginning.
No longer will she sit back while life walks past her.
Her courage gives her the strength to accept more then just friendship.
She bids her time till things are in place.
Her heart is no longer frozen in time.
Truest hearts know no bounds and can free the simplest thoughts.
Given and shared love will strengthen and free the torn soul.
She finds her heart truly loved for the first time.
Her fair mind finds her true love in his kind sweet soul. She does what she must to do right by him.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Through the Fog
As I look out of my window, I see the fog creep in!
It’s covering the ground like a blanket, tucking the earth in for the night
As I watch the fog, I take a good look at the view through the fog.
There are some branches almost reaching to scratch the earth,
It’s almost a weeping willow effect like at Gram’s
Others stretch up through the fog as if to reach out for the stars.
I sit quietly writing when I see a light it’s casting a shadow on someone I think
My curiosity gets the better of me as I reach for my jacket.
I walk out the door with a desire to find the light maybe I will see what caused the shadows.
As I walk the rolls away from me.
It’s creating a moving zone of no fog.
The edges seem softened as the clearing blends the fog.
A movement ahead catches my eye again.
I speed up my walking wondering who is just out of my sight.
What is drawing me to them like a moth to the light.
I am walking in the damp air with a fairly brisk pace.
Driven to find out what caused the shadow.
Just ahead near the park the shadow stops moving.
I slow my pace with caution lights flashing in my mind.
I smile as I see the neighbour bent down with his dog.
I must have caught his shadow as he walked past the light post.
He would have hurried especially if poor Baby took off after a squirrel.
It’s covering the ground like a blanket, tucking the earth in for the night
As I watch the fog, I take a good look at the view through the fog.
There are some branches almost reaching to scratch the earth,
It’s almost a weeping willow effect like at Gram’s
Others stretch up through the fog as if to reach out for the stars.
I sit quietly writing when I see a light it’s casting a shadow on someone I think
My curiosity gets the better of me as I reach for my jacket.
I walk out the door with a desire to find the light maybe I will see what caused the shadows.
As I walk the rolls away from me.
It’s creating a moving zone of no fog.
The edges seem softened as the clearing blends the fog.
A movement ahead catches my eye again.
I speed up my walking wondering who is just out of my sight.
What is drawing me to them like a moth to the light.
I am walking in the damp air with a fairly brisk pace.
Driven to find out what caused the shadow.
Just ahead near the park the shadow stops moving.
I slow my pace with caution lights flashing in my mind.
I smile as I see the neighbour bent down with his dog.
I must have caught his shadow as he walked past the light post.
He would have hurried especially if poor Baby took off after a squirrel.
Seasons Of Man
Spring brings forth-fresh growth
The flowers and animals recreate life a new
The gentle rain-washes the earth
Spring into life as youth frolic in the meadows
New love changes how we see life
Our eyes no long see the drab but the sparkle of a new day
As an infant he grows quickly
His parents nurture him much like the animals take care of there young
The innocence of youth soon gives way to the maturity of adult
As the spring season wanes warmer days approach
The flowers fragrance fills the air
The crops and gardens benefit from the warm lazy days
Summer start the harvest season
Early crops and the replanting of the fields need to be completed
Season of growth nature is in full force
Man graduates into adulthood
He explores not just his corner but the world at large
He is looking for someone to share his life
Most men take time to find someone who will compliment them
It is a skill to learn how to survive
As a cub learns on his own after trial and error after leaving home so must man
In the fall the crop harvests are finished
Nature slowly puts itself to bed
Preparing for the long cold winter it becomes sleepy
Man prepares a home to protect his family
A safe place to ride out the winter and a place to nurture his offspring
He prepares the harvest to feed the family through the winter months
In the cold winter months nature takes time to rest
To conserve whatever energy it can
It await a new beginning in a breath of spring
Man in the winter of his life has grown old
Tired of the fight to survive he struggles to maintain his drive
In the end of winter he will lay to rest in natures embrace
The flowers and animals recreate life a new
The gentle rain-washes the earth
Spring into life as youth frolic in the meadows
New love changes how we see life
Our eyes no long see the drab but the sparkle of a new day
As an infant he grows quickly
His parents nurture him much like the animals take care of there young
The innocence of youth soon gives way to the maturity of adult
As the spring season wanes warmer days approach
The flowers fragrance fills the air
The crops and gardens benefit from the warm lazy days
Summer start the harvest season
Early crops and the replanting of the fields need to be completed
Season of growth nature is in full force
Man graduates into adulthood
He explores not just his corner but the world at large
He is looking for someone to share his life
Most men take time to find someone who will compliment them
It is a skill to learn how to survive
As a cub learns on his own after trial and error after leaving home so must man
In the fall the crop harvests are finished
Nature slowly puts itself to bed
Preparing for the long cold winter it becomes sleepy
Man prepares a home to protect his family
A safe place to ride out the winter and a place to nurture his offspring
He prepares the harvest to feed the family through the winter months
In the cold winter months nature takes time to rest
To conserve whatever energy it can
It await a new beginning in a breath of spring
Man in the winter of his life has grown old
Tired of the fight to survive he struggles to maintain his drive
In the end of winter he will lay to rest in natures embrace
Never Far
A life was given to me blessed and cherished
An angel of heaven live with me
She could light up the coldest face with just her smile
She still visits my weary heart
Time stands still in my weary with her face lighting it up
She loves her mama
She loves that I am sharing our story
She is proud of how together we are making a difference in many lives
We are showing the world what life really means
Family means more than just blood
Hearts shared and lives intertwined across the world
We loved and still love our angel
Never far from me, she watches
She hopes I will find the happiness we share
She guides me across the sky to the next star
She was my light in a dreary world
She twisted her finger and I became wrapped in her hand
Always loved she lived her life
Touched and blessed she made her life’s journey
Her life may be over but she is still touching many lives
She will live on as long as I still breathe
Never truly gone her spirit rests in the heavens.
An angel of heaven live with me
She could light up the coldest face with just her smile
She still visits my weary heart
Time stands still in my weary with her face lighting it up
She loves her mama
She loves that I am sharing our story
She is proud of how together we are making a difference in many lives
We are showing the world what life really means
Family means more than just blood
Hearts shared and lives intertwined across the world
We loved and still love our angel
Never far from me, she watches
She hopes I will find the happiness we share
She guides me across the sky to the next star
She was my light in a dreary world
She twisted her finger and I became wrapped in her hand
Always loved she lived her life
Touched and blessed she made her life’s journey
Her life may be over but she is still touching many lives
She will live on as long as I still breathe
Never truly gone her spirit rests in the heavens.
My Heritage
My gift of writing comes through my bloodline.
My love for reading comes that way too.
Even the stitching is a gift.
First, writing comes down through the ages from Great Gram to Granny to Mom to me.
All wrote in one form or another from poetry to small verses to journals.
Even letter writing between pen pals Granny and Aunt Connie.
Great Gram wrote beautiful rhyming poetry while her daughter wrote cute verses in cards.
Granny wrote in journals and to her pen pal for years.
My mom wrote journals of sorts about her trials in life.
Now I write poetry in story form.
My heritage is a legacy of writing which I consider a gift.
One of the many gifts bestowed to me.
Granny and Grandpa both were avid readers.
Granny enjoyed a good book while grandpa read to escape when he couldn't sleep.
Mom and I both enjoy a good book before bedtime.
Aunt Connie is a great inspiration to me.
She inspired my love of books through her gifts.
She wrote lovely letters as well.
Granny made beautiful doilies and had lovely quilting stitches as well.
I figure she learned from Great Gram.
Mom learned from Granny.
One of my favourite memories is reading a book under the quilt
That my mom was working on.
Maybe this impacted a love of quilts on me at an early age.
Now my quilts have become gifts for other children.
My love for reading comes that way too.
Even the stitching is a gift.
First, writing comes down through the ages from Great Gram to Granny to Mom to me.
All wrote in one form or another from poetry to small verses to journals.
Even letter writing between pen pals Granny and Aunt Connie.
Great Gram wrote beautiful rhyming poetry while her daughter wrote cute verses in cards.
Granny wrote in journals and to her pen pal for years.
My mom wrote journals of sorts about her trials in life.
Now I write poetry in story form.
My heritage is a legacy of writing which I consider a gift.
One of the many gifts bestowed to me.
Granny and Grandpa both were avid readers.
Granny enjoyed a good book while grandpa read to escape when he couldn't sleep.
Mom and I both enjoy a good book before bedtime.
Aunt Connie is a great inspiration to me.
She inspired my love of books through her gifts.
She wrote lovely letters as well.
Granny made beautiful doilies and had lovely quilting stitches as well.
I figure she learned from Great Gram.
Mom learned from Granny.
One of my favourite memories is reading a book under the quilt
That my mom was working on.
Maybe this impacted a love of quilts on me at an early age.
Now my quilts have become gifts for other children.
Moonlight Embrace
The old cabin has long since fallen.
It hadn’t been used or thought of in years.
But looking through grandma’s picture album, I remember.
A short drive back to the lake and down the lane to the old foundation I went.
Almost drawn by some sort of presence, I was.
Thank heaven, it was a clear moonlight night.
I walk to the back of the foundation rumble, watching for rocks and uneven debris.
I don’t know why I was even here.
There was a picture of the grandparents out here on a moonlight night.
The caption dated the picture before they were married.
It is hard to think of them when they were just getting started.
Mind you, they always reminded me of a couple very much in love.
Actually, I just realised the date on the album was the same as tonight.
Are they going to put in an appearance?
But they both died almost five years ago, is it possible?
I’m now standing just off what would be the old back porch.
You can see between the trees to the old canoe by the lake.
The path is so clear and now I recognise this area from the picture.
They must have stood by the water’s edge in the picture.
So wrapped up in each other that they didn’t know it was taken until much later.
I wonder what had just happened before it was taken.
I briefly remember Gran saying Gramps proposed down by the lake.
Maybe the picture was taken after Gran replied.
They both look so happy in that picture and so in love.
Am I imagining things?
I can almost see a ghostly vision over laying the view.
It looks like Gran and Gramps the night of the picture.
No, I’m not seeing things; Gramps just winked at me.
Their spirits must have come back on this anniversary and they wanted someone to know that they were together.
Now I know why I am here; I am happy for them and I now know that there is hope to live after death.
It hadn’t been used or thought of in years.
But looking through grandma’s picture album, I remember.
A short drive back to the lake and down the lane to the old foundation I went.
Almost drawn by some sort of presence, I was.
Thank heaven, it was a clear moonlight night.
I walk to the back of the foundation rumble, watching for rocks and uneven debris.
I don’t know why I was even here.
There was a picture of the grandparents out here on a moonlight night.
The caption dated the picture before they were married.
It is hard to think of them when they were just getting started.
Mind you, they always reminded me of a couple very much in love.
Actually, I just realised the date on the album was the same as tonight.
Are they going to put in an appearance?
But they both died almost five years ago, is it possible?
I’m now standing just off what would be the old back porch.
You can see between the trees to the old canoe by the lake.
The path is so clear and now I recognise this area from the picture.
They must have stood by the water’s edge in the picture.
So wrapped up in each other that they didn’t know it was taken until much later.
I wonder what had just happened before it was taken.
I briefly remember Gran saying Gramps proposed down by the lake.
Maybe the picture was taken after Gran replied.
They both look so happy in that picture and so in love.
Am I imagining things?
I can almost see a ghostly vision over laying the view.
It looks like Gran and Gramps the night of the picture.
No, I’m not seeing things; Gramps just winked at me.
Their spirits must have come back on this anniversary and they wanted someone to know that they were together.
Now I know why I am here; I am happy for them and I now know that there is hope to live after death.
Keeper's Daughter
A sweet girl living with her father alone in the lighthouse
Mom died a few years ago!
She takes care of dad as he guards the cliffs
The rocky ground is hard and yet vegetables still grow
Mom taught her well how to work with the land!
She also taught her how to mend and cook!
Dad watches the weather and cleans the lighthouse window
They can save many a boat from crashing
He repairs their home while she tends the hearth!
Simple meals created with love
A simple life with few trips into town, the young girl repairs what she can!
Warmth and love goes in every stitch just like mom
Dad watches his daughter blossom into a lady like her mom
He provides what he can but wishes it was more
She never complains but loves him dearly
He knows soon she will leave him to start a family
So he stores the memories of her sweet face over the newest quilt
She wraps her daddy around her finger
Both alone they live here but in a home filled with warmth
You hear the waves crashing against the cliffs but inside you feel safe and cosy
The weather is howling and the light burns true!
They are taken for granted by some others drop off extras they don’t dare get
As long as she can, she will care for the hearth
So dad can protect others from the rocky cliffs below!
Mom died a few years ago!
She takes care of dad as he guards the cliffs
The rocky ground is hard and yet vegetables still grow
Mom taught her well how to work with the land!
She also taught her how to mend and cook!
Dad watches the weather and cleans the lighthouse window
They can save many a boat from crashing
He repairs their home while she tends the hearth!
Simple meals created with love
A simple life with few trips into town, the young girl repairs what she can!
Warmth and love goes in every stitch just like mom
Dad watches his daughter blossom into a lady like her mom
He provides what he can but wishes it was more
She never complains but loves him dearly
He knows soon she will leave him to start a family
So he stores the memories of her sweet face over the newest quilt
She wraps her daddy around her finger
Both alone they live here but in a home filled with warmth
You hear the waves crashing against the cliffs but inside you feel safe and cosy
The weather is howling and the light burns true!
They are taken for granted by some others drop off extras they don’t dare get
As long as she can, she will care for the hearth
So dad can protect others from the rocky cliffs below!
Into Pieces
She was doing more then just painting.
She was putting pieces of her self into her work.
Like the best artist, she shares with the world what she was inspired by.
She creates life on a blank canvass.
It is like taking a picture and it becomes forever caught in time.
I stumbled into her by accident.
She had her hands full with canvasses, supplies and items for supper.
I was rushing away from the latest episode.
The pain was so great that I could not see where I was going
When I finally realized what had happened, I felt so ashamed.
She didn’t hesitate when she saw my face
She gathered her spilled collection of items.
I stopped to help here offering a hand to take the things home.
She nodded as the last of the items were packaged.
I took the bags as we headed down the alley to the rear of the complex.
We climbed the stairs leading to an upper balcony.
She unlocked the door and motioned to the kitchen for my bags.
I set the packages down and follow the clatter of canvasses and brushes.
Standing in the doorway I behold a collection of pieces belonging in a gallery.
I lean over and start flipping through the stack closet to the door.
With an eye for colour I see the life frozen in moments, an old man sitting by the pond feeding the duck or a mother pushing a stroller through the park.
The artist watches my face.
I finish the stack and look up in awe.
I begin to piece the story together.
Here heart was shattered into pieces frozen in those moments.
Without a family to share her life, she paints the hopes and dreams into her pieces.
I see a lady in pieces walking through the world hoping top find life and happiness.
Her art is expressing the need as she pieces her dreams together.
She was putting pieces of her self into her work.
Like the best artist, she shares with the world what she was inspired by.
She creates life on a blank canvass.
It is like taking a picture and it becomes forever caught in time.
I stumbled into her by accident.
She had her hands full with canvasses, supplies and items for supper.
I was rushing away from the latest episode.
The pain was so great that I could not see where I was going
When I finally realized what had happened, I felt so ashamed.
She didn’t hesitate when she saw my face
She gathered her spilled collection of items.
I stopped to help here offering a hand to take the things home.
She nodded as the last of the items were packaged.
I took the bags as we headed down the alley to the rear of the complex.
We climbed the stairs leading to an upper balcony.
She unlocked the door and motioned to the kitchen for my bags.
I set the packages down and follow the clatter of canvasses and brushes.
Standing in the doorway I behold a collection of pieces belonging in a gallery.
I lean over and start flipping through the stack closet to the door.
With an eye for colour I see the life frozen in moments, an old man sitting by the pond feeding the duck or a mother pushing a stroller through the park.
The artist watches my face.
I finish the stack and look up in awe.
I begin to piece the story together.
Here heart was shattered into pieces frozen in those moments.
Without a family to share her life, she paints the hopes and dreams into her pieces.
I see a lady in pieces walking through the world hoping top find life and happiness.
Her art is expressing the need as she pieces her dreams together.
Ghost Rider
I sense someone with me.
I keep looking over my shoulder but no one is to be seen.
As I walk through the forest at the edge of town, the feeling gets stronger.
I hear noises behind me.
It is almost as if something or someone is guiding or leading me.
But I am not on a well-used path.
I left that main path twenty minutes ago when I heard a crash.
It is hard walking through the brush but I can’t see a way back.
I must be on a forgotten or animal trail.
I don’t have any clue what crashed or why I left the main path.
All I remember is a strong sense that I was okay as long as I followed this trail.
I glance over my shoulder.
A branch must of have brushed my shoulder because there is no one behind me.
There is a break in the tree line up ahead.
I pause briefly.
There is a sense of calm surrounding me.
As I reach the edge of the clearing.
I see what looks like an old foundation just off to my right.
I shake my head, make that what is left of one.
Why do I feel this need to check it out?
I walk slowly toward it.
The fireplace is partly intact.
As I enter a partial break in the foundation, I sense like I am coming home.
Walking to the mantle, I feel as if I am walking back in time.
Engraved in the stone work I find initials still visible.
I rub my fingers over the carvings.
The wind caresses my face.
Is someone saying hello?
Someone wants to be remembered.
Ghostrider I will not forget you.
Don’t worry Ghost; I feel like you are my grandfather.
I giggle as I run my fingers over the initials.
I need remember them and can search for him.
I keep looking over my shoulder but no one is to be seen.
As I walk through the forest at the edge of town, the feeling gets stronger.
I hear noises behind me.
It is almost as if something or someone is guiding or leading me.
But I am not on a well-used path.
I left that main path twenty minutes ago when I heard a crash.
It is hard walking through the brush but I can’t see a way back.
I must be on a forgotten or animal trail.
I don’t have any clue what crashed or why I left the main path.
All I remember is a strong sense that I was okay as long as I followed this trail.
I glance over my shoulder.
A branch must of have brushed my shoulder because there is no one behind me.
There is a break in the tree line up ahead.
I pause briefly.
There is a sense of calm surrounding me.
As I reach the edge of the clearing.
I see what looks like an old foundation just off to my right.
I shake my head, make that what is left of one.
Why do I feel this need to check it out?
I walk slowly toward it.
The fireplace is partly intact.
As I enter a partial break in the foundation, I sense like I am coming home.
Walking to the mantle, I feel as if I am walking back in time.
Engraved in the stone work I find initials still visible.
I rub my fingers over the carvings.
The wind caresses my face.
Is someone saying hello?
Someone wants to be remembered.
Ghostrider I will not forget you.
Don’t worry Ghost; I feel like you are my grandfather.
I giggle as I run my fingers over the initials.
I need remember them and can search for him.
Darkness Beckons
Caught in a web of intrigue by a domineering bloke
The power in his voice melts my will
He carries an air of dark intensity that is hard to describe
This darkness seems to spin me round!
Am I still in control or lost in his voice
Am I a victim of his domineering nature?
What is it about the darkness I can’t wait to explore it
It is because it is unknown and mysterious
Or almost evil like that intrigues me
He beckons and I follow
Almost as if I have no choice but
I do have a choice
I have a mind but for some reason
I follow his directions
I am ignoring my usual traits
Why am I doing this?
I am questioning everything I am doing
I am going over what I have done and wonder
I am not who he thinks I am!
I am a kind sweet soul
I am not dark and evil so I walk away and don’t look back
The power in his voice melts my will
He carries an air of dark intensity that is hard to describe
This darkness seems to spin me round!
Am I still in control or lost in his voice
Am I a victim of his domineering nature?
What is it about the darkness I can’t wait to explore it
It is because it is unknown and mysterious
Or almost evil like that intrigues me
He beckons and I follow
Almost as if I have no choice but
I do have a choice
I have a mind but for some reason
I follow his directions
I am ignoring my usual traits
Why am I doing this?
I am questioning everything I am doing
I am going over what I have done and wonder
I am not who he thinks I am!
I am a kind sweet soul
I am not dark and evil so I walk away and don’t look back
Bypass the Fear
Off the pier, I see them swim.
Sleekly, they cut through the water so blue.
Playing an endless game of water tag.
The school of dolphins swims so gracefully.
I just want to dive in to join the game.
Next thing I realise, I was in the water.
I had been pushed.
The dolphins swam over to ensure my safety.
Moments later someone else jumped into the water beside me.
Now there was a sleek man swimming with the dolphins.
Together we play tag for what seems like hours.
As acrobats of the sea, these dolphins were so graceful.
Never have I felt so at peace.
Playing and swimming with these playful creatures.
As the hours pass, I move to shallow water to rest.
Once I caught my breath, I rejoin the party.
Soon it’s time to call it a day.
I need nourishment and sleep.
Only I don’t dine alone.
My dinner date was the mysterious man, who I think pushed me off the pier.
Now maybe I can find out why?
He informs me that he saw me longing to join in the water party.
To be free and swim just like those sleek creatures of the sea.
He had the same longing and felt together it might be possible.
Alone, neither of us would have had the courage but without a choice the fears could be bypassed.
He only pushed her to enable her to finally have her chance.
This way both of them would have an opportunity of a lifetime.
Sleekly, they cut through the water so blue.
Playing an endless game of water tag.
The school of dolphins swims so gracefully.
I just want to dive in to join the game.
Next thing I realise, I was in the water.
I had been pushed.
The dolphins swam over to ensure my safety.
Moments later someone else jumped into the water beside me.
Now there was a sleek man swimming with the dolphins.
Together we play tag for what seems like hours.
As acrobats of the sea, these dolphins were so graceful.
Never have I felt so at peace.
Playing and swimming with these playful creatures.
As the hours pass, I move to shallow water to rest.
Once I caught my breath, I rejoin the party.
Soon it’s time to call it a day.
I need nourishment and sleep.
Only I don’t dine alone.
My dinner date was the mysterious man, who I think pushed me off the pier.
Now maybe I can find out why?
He informs me that he saw me longing to join in the water party.
To be free and swim just like those sleek creatures of the sea.
He had the same longing and felt together it might be possible.
Alone, neither of us would have had the courage but without a choice the fears could be bypassed.
He only pushed her to enable her to finally have her chance.
This way both of them would have an opportunity of a lifetime.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Connected Souls
Lucas arrives early for his business flight. After getting a coffee, he heads to the common seating area for those waiting to leave or collect passengers. He is sitting patiently sipping his coffee with his legs spread out in front. He is watching people wondering who is going where this time.
In walks this lovely lady dressed in silver and black. Catherine arrives early to meet her Aunt’s plane. Her eyes are scanning the crowd for a vacant seat when their eyes connect. Her smile reaches his heart.
Luc smiles sweetly at this breath taking wonder. In the central commons, his eyes reach across the distance hoping to hold her in that moment to ensnare her heart as he holds her eyes.
She smiles at this stranger but out of the corner of her eyes she catches a flash of movement. Her face shifts focus and her expression changes drastically as she watches a young mother with a toddler. The little one is scrambling to explore while mom is trying to keep her safe and out of trouble. Cat trembles as she is caught. The flashback of memories hit like a tidal wave. Control is utterly lost.
Lucas scrambles to reach this lady. He is watching her body shake. He senses her emotions. He will not to let her fall apart all alone. He rushes over luggage and sprawling feet to reach this lady’s side.
Cat is swaying and about to crumble as she barely has control of how she feels. Lucas just barely reaches Cat and tries to steady her. Lucas gently holds her arms.
“Hi, are you okay?”
Catherine looks up at Luc to reply but then the waterworks start. She is reeling in flashbacks. The world disappears as her daughter’s life flashes before her.
Luc unable to stop takes Cat into his arms as she shudders in tears.
Cat collapses into his embrace.
Luc teeters trying to hold them both upright but that is not possible. Luc sits on the nearest chair rather then fall pulling Cat into his lap. Luc just holds her as she cries trying to console her, the best he can without words.
Poor Cat is so oblivious to everything – lost in her emotions. When the flashbacks finally stop, Catherine then realises that she is being held while she was crying. Catherine barely remembered seeing the young man who held her eyes captive. He was walking toward her when she noticed the toddler. Then she was hit by the emotions and somehow she ends up in his lap. She tries to move.
Lucas starts the conversation.
“Don’t move. I am not going to let you go till you are calmer or at least somewhat under control.”
“But I don’t even know your name.” Cat is somewhat baffled by this stranger. She is still fighting through the tears.
“I’m Lucas and you are?” Lucas wipes her face drying the tears on her cheeks.
“I’m Catherine. I am here to meet my aunt. She is arriving from France but I always get lost in this place.”
“Will you be all right for a moment? I need to make a call. Then I need to rebook my flight.”
“But… but” Catherine stutters. “You don’t even know me!”
“It is fine and I would never leave such a lovely lady alone in a time of need. Stay here and I will be right back.” Luc slides her to the next chair then he heads to the phones to make a call. The next stop is the ticket counter and he rebooks his ticket. Once everything is taken care of he returns to Cat’s side.
Catherine barely regains her composure when Lucas is suddenly standing back in front of her. She looks up and he smiles so warmly. His smile warms her very soul.
Luc seems to get a sense of things will be okay within Cat.
“My business partner will be taking the trip on a later flight. The meeting isn’t until nine in the morning tomorrow any ways. Now, how are you and what happened to cause those tears?”
“I’m okay I guess. But why are you reaching out to me? I’m a total stranger! Are you sure you want to know what is wrong?” Catherine watched Lucas. She was looking into his eyes, pools of mystery. The man has her completely puzzled.
Luc studies Cat. Looking deep into her eyes, he can see her very soul and smiles. Luc takes Catherine’s hand and pulls her up into his arms. They melt as physical connection is made. It is a perfect fit.
Luc whispers, “Because when I connected with your eyes I become lost. I found someone of who intrigues me. I’ve a feeling that I know you some how in some other lifetime perhaps? So sit and tell me the story please,” he implores. He takes a seat beside Cat who is on the verge of collapsing again.
“All right bear with me.” Cat tries to formulate the story. Her tears are still threatening to start again.
“I am not sure how well I can tell this story! About two years ago I was blessed with a daughter but there were issues at birth. Maxi needed major surgery to correct a defect and she died after surgery because of complications. She died only about six months ago! That toddler would have been her age roughly.” Cat speaks fighting to maintain an even voice without cracking.
Luc reaches out to hug Catherine again. Lucas ponders about what he just heard for a moment as he holds her.
“Poor Catherine. She is such a lovely lady who doesn’t deserve hurting. What, did I see another smile sneak out? Hmm what a smile! What a pleasure to see it as well.” Luc is intrigued by the lady and can’t help teasing. He wants to lighten her spirit in attempt to hold the emotions at bay.
Catherine can’t help but feel like a schoolgirl again for a moment. A lady not just a grieving mom! How long has it been since anyone, including herself saw the woman? An hour has past with a gentleman who listened to every word and wiped away all the tears.
“Oh no” Suddenly Catherine remembers why she was at the airport. She gets up and apologises to Lucas.
In walks this lovely lady dressed in silver and black. Catherine arrives early to meet her Aunt’s plane. Her eyes are scanning the crowd for a vacant seat when their eyes connect. Her smile reaches his heart.
Luc smiles sweetly at this breath taking wonder. In the central commons, his eyes reach across the distance hoping to hold her in that moment to ensnare her heart as he holds her eyes.
She smiles at this stranger but out of the corner of her eyes she catches a flash of movement. Her face shifts focus and her expression changes drastically as she watches a young mother with a toddler. The little one is scrambling to explore while mom is trying to keep her safe and out of trouble. Cat trembles as she is caught. The flashback of memories hit like a tidal wave. Control is utterly lost.
Lucas scrambles to reach this lady. He is watching her body shake. He senses her emotions. He will not to let her fall apart all alone. He rushes over luggage and sprawling feet to reach this lady’s side.
Cat is swaying and about to crumble as she barely has control of how she feels. Lucas just barely reaches Cat and tries to steady her. Lucas gently holds her arms.
“Hi, are you okay?”
Catherine looks up at Luc to reply but then the waterworks start. She is reeling in flashbacks. The world disappears as her daughter’s life flashes before her.
Luc unable to stop takes Cat into his arms as she shudders in tears.
Cat collapses into his embrace.
Luc teeters trying to hold them both upright but that is not possible. Luc sits on the nearest chair rather then fall pulling Cat into his lap. Luc just holds her as she cries trying to console her, the best he can without words.
Poor Cat is so oblivious to everything – lost in her emotions. When the flashbacks finally stop, Catherine then realises that she is being held while she was crying. Catherine barely remembered seeing the young man who held her eyes captive. He was walking toward her when she noticed the toddler. Then she was hit by the emotions and somehow she ends up in his lap. She tries to move.
Lucas starts the conversation.
“Don’t move. I am not going to let you go till you are calmer or at least somewhat under control.”
“But I don’t even know your name.” Cat is somewhat baffled by this stranger. She is still fighting through the tears.
“I’m Lucas and you are?” Lucas wipes her face drying the tears on her cheeks.
“I’m Catherine. I am here to meet my aunt. She is arriving from France but I always get lost in this place.”
“Will you be all right for a moment? I need to make a call. Then I need to rebook my flight.”
“But… but” Catherine stutters. “You don’t even know me!”
“It is fine and I would never leave such a lovely lady alone in a time of need. Stay here and I will be right back.” Luc slides her to the next chair then he heads to the phones to make a call. The next stop is the ticket counter and he rebooks his ticket. Once everything is taken care of he returns to Cat’s side.
Catherine barely regains her composure when Lucas is suddenly standing back in front of her. She looks up and he smiles so warmly. His smile warms her very soul.
Luc seems to get a sense of things will be okay within Cat.
“My business partner will be taking the trip on a later flight. The meeting isn’t until nine in the morning tomorrow any ways. Now, how are you and what happened to cause those tears?”
“I’m okay I guess. But why are you reaching out to me? I’m a total stranger! Are you sure you want to know what is wrong?” Catherine watched Lucas. She was looking into his eyes, pools of mystery. The man has her completely puzzled.
Luc studies Cat. Looking deep into her eyes, he can see her very soul and smiles. Luc takes Catherine’s hand and pulls her up into his arms. They melt as physical connection is made. It is a perfect fit.
Luc whispers, “Because when I connected with your eyes I become lost. I found someone of who intrigues me. I’ve a feeling that I know you some how in some other lifetime perhaps? So sit and tell me the story please,” he implores. He takes a seat beside Cat who is on the verge of collapsing again.
“All right bear with me.” Cat tries to formulate the story. Her tears are still threatening to start again.
“I am not sure how well I can tell this story! About two years ago I was blessed with a daughter but there were issues at birth. Maxi needed major surgery to correct a defect and she died after surgery because of complications. She died only about six months ago! That toddler would have been her age roughly.” Cat speaks fighting to maintain an even voice without cracking.
Luc reaches out to hug Catherine again. Lucas ponders about what he just heard for a moment as he holds her.
“Poor Catherine. She is such a lovely lady who doesn’t deserve hurting. What, did I see another smile sneak out? Hmm what a smile! What a pleasure to see it as well.” Luc is intrigued by the lady and can’t help teasing. He wants to lighten her spirit in attempt to hold the emotions at bay.
Catherine can’t help but feel like a schoolgirl again for a moment. A lady not just a grieving mom! How long has it been since anyone, including herself saw the woman? An hour has past with a gentleman who listened to every word and wiped away all the tears.
“Oh no” Suddenly Catherine remembers why she was at the airport. She gets up and apologises to Lucas.
Friday, September 12, 2008
The Guardian
Out of the darkness comes a wonderful light. Pure joy radiates to fill the room as the angel arrived. A young girl is sitting quietly crying. She isn’t sure where her future is going.
‘What is a matter child?’
‘Am I to be all alone in the world?’
‘Why dear child you are never alone! I am your guardian angel. I have been with you since the day you were born.’
‘Your mom didn’t want to leave you. When Death arrived to stop the pain you don’t dare argue. Your mom wanted to stay with you! It was her time and she was spared more agony. Only knowing I am with you eased her struggle.’
‘I am to take you to your Aunt’s. She loves you dearly. She shall be waiting for you! Your mom had made arrangements a long time ago. I have known your pain sweetheart!’
The angel reaches for the child. Her wings dry the tears. The child cries harder. She releases her hold on her tears. The comfort that the angel provided is enough so she could finally let it go. The pain of finding her mom gone and being alone in the house poor Grace was waiting for someone to come.
It was so hard waiting for the neighbour to come over. The lady has done that every morning and every night since mom had got sick. The angel holds her charge till she senses the neighbour.
When the neighbour arrives, she sees the tear streaked face of the child. She knows what has happened! She reaches for the sweet child who starts to cry again. The lady just rubs the child’s back.
When Grace finally sobs to a whimper, Kelly speaks. “Grace would you to go to your room to grab some clothes. I am going to take you to your Aunt’s. She shall know what to do!”
The angel takes the child’s hand. They proceed to the bedroom. “Grace, you would need enough clothes for a few days. There is a bag under your bed to use. You should grab teddy too.”
Kelly heads to the other bedroom. Yes, Kris has gone for a while by the stiffness. Poor Grace must have woke up early and came in to see mom. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t find her in here when I arrived. She left the room and went to find Grace about to close her bag.
"Grace could I check to make sure that you got enough?"
Grace nodded her head. She felt the angel’s hand on her shoulder. She also heard her in her mind.
‘Kelly wants to check that you grabbed enough clothes and didn’t forget things like underwear and socks.’ Grace leaned back as the angel’s wings enclosed around her.
Kelly didn’t see the angel but was impressed on how well this child had packed. Beside the bag were her teddy and a quilt. It was the very last one her mom had made.
“Well sweetheart, time to grab your shoes and we could go!” Kelly reaches into the front closet for Grace’s jacket.
“Aunt Jenn has been waiting for this day. After last night’s call our arrival would not be a surprise.”
Grace is tying her shoes as the angel leans in to whisper.
‘I shall be shrinking to ride in teddy. Kelly would not understand if she saw me riding on the back seat.’ Grace just nods.
‘Yes Grace every time you felt a sudden presence or warmth that was I checking in on you.’
Grace looks at teddy and sees him glowing. Shoes are tied and jacket is on. Kelly grabs the bag and the quilt. Grace was already holding onto teddy for dear life.
Into the car Kelly puts the bag and the quilt. Grace had popped into the back seat with the quilt tucked around her. Kelly drives to Jenn’s. The drive itself is short but a worried Kelly keeps a close eye on Grace. Thank Heaven for rear view mirrors. Grace is sitting calmly with teddy in arms.
Jenn hears the car and popped to the window. She didn’t know the car but knew the child who is climbing out of the back seat.
“Oh no,” Jenn cries as she ran to the door.
Grace sees her Aunt Jenn and starts bawling again. Jenn just wraps her into her arms.
Unnoticed Kelly picks up teddy that amongst the confusion fallen to the ground. Teddy is glowing and warm? No! Kelly shakes her head.
Kelly just waits until there is a pause in the tears and she catches Jenn’s eye. Kelly just nods knowing the question. After a few minutes, Jenn takes Grace inside. She settles her on the couch with the quilt. Kelly tucks in teddy then the ladies head to the kitchen. Aunt Jenn pauses briefly.
“Grace, sweetheart, did you want some hot chocolate?”
Grace, whose eyes are barely visible above the teddy and quilt, just nods. Jenn starts setting up for tea while Kelly waited for the questions.
“Well I guess I should have been prepared after your call last night but I…” Jenn hangs her head because she had wanted the miracle.
Kelly just nods in agreement.
“I was praying for the miracle all night long. But when I walked into the house I saw Grace’s face streaked with tears. I was like NOOO. I don’t know how long she was alone! I never asked. I should have known Kris was barely hanging on, but I wanted to prepare you with the update.
“She was still fighting to live for Grace!”
Grace walked into the kitchen; clutching teddy like it was alive.
“What is it sweetheart?”
“Where am I to live now Aunt Jenn?” Grace has fear in her eyes!
“Mom and I had made plans that if anything happened I would be your guardian. Your mom loved you so much because you were her blessing! But sweetheart, your body can’t always win the fight!”
“I knew that mama was sick. I knew that she was fighting. But when I crawled into bed, she was so cold. I pulled up the extra blankets. But she wasn’t breathing…”Grace breaks into tears.
Jenn rushes to her and draws her into her embrace. They are crying together and rocking back and forth. Teddy drops to the floor.
Kelly never gave a thought of how Kris was well covered till now! Grace had taken care of her mom every morning.
No child should have to but the love Kris and Grace shared was spell bounding. From the first day Kris brought Grace home till she got too sick to move their love poured out. Every moment that Kris was with Grace pure joy was seen. They loved each other so much. One could only hope to have half that love in a lifetime.
When Kris got sick her first concern was for Grace being alone! Over many cups of tea while Grace was playing, Kris told Kelly the story. Grace was not conceived in love. But as soon as she felt the baby move, it did not matter. From then on the child was loved to pieces. Grace was raised alone with Jenn popped in to help when she could. She had a family who loved her immensely.
But cancer was not an easy thing to conquer. Kris gave it 110% in effort. Last night Kris told Kelly that if anything should happen to take Grace to Jenn’s. It was like she knew that her time was short.
Right after that Grace popped in to tell mom “I love you.” It was a nightly ritual just like Grace crawling for naps. Grace crawled into bed with mom and hugged her deeply. Then she toddled off to bed!
In the morning she always would awake early; crawl into bed with mom, and drift back to sleep. It was part of at tradition Kris started when she was nursing. After the early morning snack she would bring Grace to be to sleep a little longer. It was normal for Kelly to pop by and find Kris and Grace asleep some where. In the summer, it was under the apple tree or it could be under a quilt watching a movie. Anywhere was possible.
It was morning teatime everyday for as long as she could remember. Kelly slipped into Kris’ house for a cup of tea. It was a way to check in without making obvious. Both ladies were alone. So they would meet at either house around nine.
After Grace was born, it was always Kris’ place. It was easier for her with the baby. Time stood still as Kelly remembered. When she finally shook the cobwebs from her mind; Jenn is making cocoa and tea. Grace is on a chair reaching for sugar and marshmallows. Always a little helper Grace has been as soon as she could stir. It was like she was trying to be a normal as possible.
The ladies took the tea and head to the living room. Grace drinks half of her hot chocolate. She curls up under the quilt and falls asleep.
The poor tyke is worn out. She has been doing more. More then any child should have. The teddy drops and Jenn reaches to tuck it back in. She noticed the glow. She remembered how her guardian angel used to hide in her teddy around adults. When she thought back she remembered all the other times teddy glowed.
“Thanks for being there for Grace.” She whispered.
Teddy winks as he is tucked under Grace’s arm under the quilt.
‘What is a matter child?’
‘Am I to be all alone in the world?’
‘Why dear child you are never alone! I am your guardian angel. I have been with you since the day you were born.’
‘Your mom didn’t want to leave you. When Death arrived to stop the pain you don’t dare argue. Your mom wanted to stay with you! It was her time and she was spared more agony. Only knowing I am with you eased her struggle.’
‘I am to take you to your Aunt’s. She loves you dearly. She shall be waiting for you! Your mom had made arrangements a long time ago. I have known your pain sweetheart!’
The angel reaches for the child. Her wings dry the tears. The child cries harder. She releases her hold on her tears. The comfort that the angel provided is enough so she could finally let it go. The pain of finding her mom gone and being alone in the house poor Grace was waiting for someone to come.
It was so hard waiting for the neighbour to come over. The lady has done that every morning and every night since mom had got sick. The angel holds her charge till she senses the neighbour.
When the neighbour arrives, she sees the tear streaked face of the child. She knows what has happened! She reaches for the sweet child who starts to cry again. The lady just rubs the child’s back.
When Grace finally sobs to a whimper, Kelly speaks. “Grace would you to go to your room to grab some clothes. I am going to take you to your Aunt’s. She shall know what to do!”
The angel takes the child’s hand. They proceed to the bedroom. “Grace, you would need enough clothes for a few days. There is a bag under your bed to use. You should grab teddy too.”
Kelly heads to the other bedroom. Yes, Kris has gone for a while by the stiffness. Poor Grace must have woke up early and came in to see mom. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t find her in here when I arrived. She left the room and went to find Grace about to close her bag.
"Grace could I check to make sure that you got enough?"
Grace nodded her head. She felt the angel’s hand on her shoulder. She also heard her in her mind.
‘Kelly wants to check that you grabbed enough clothes and didn’t forget things like underwear and socks.’ Grace leaned back as the angel’s wings enclosed around her.
Kelly didn’t see the angel but was impressed on how well this child had packed. Beside the bag were her teddy and a quilt. It was the very last one her mom had made.
“Well sweetheart, time to grab your shoes and we could go!” Kelly reaches into the front closet for Grace’s jacket.
“Aunt Jenn has been waiting for this day. After last night’s call our arrival would not be a surprise.”
Grace is tying her shoes as the angel leans in to whisper.
‘I shall be shrinking to ride in teddy. Kelly would not understand if she saw me riding on the back seat.’ Grace just nods.
‘Yes Grace every time you felt a sudden presence or warmth that was I checking in on you.’
Grace looks at teddy and sees him glowing. Shoes are tied and jacket is on. Kelly grabs the bag and the quilt. Grace was already holding onto teddy for dear life.
Into the car Kelly puts the bag and the quilt. Grace had popped into the back seat with the quilt tucked around her. Kelly drives to Jenn’s. The drive itself is short but a worried Kelly keeps a close eye on Grace. Thank Heaven for rear view mirrors. Grace is sitting calmly with teddy in arms.
Jenn hears the car and popped to the window. She didn’t know the car but knew the child who is climbing out of the back seat.
“Oh no,” Jenn cries as she ran to the door.
Grace sees her Aunt Jenn and starts bawling again. Jenn just wraps her into her arms.
Unnoticed Kelly picks up teddy that amongst the confusion fallen to the ground. Teddy is glowing and warm? No! Kelly shakes her head.
Kelly just waits until there is a pause in the tears and she catches Jenn’s eye. Kelly just nods knowing the question. After a few minutes, Jenn takes Grace inside. She settles her on the couch with the quilt. Kelly tucks in teddy then the ladies head to the kitchen. Aunt Jenn pauses briefly.
“Grace, sweetheart, did you want some hot chocolate?”
Grace, whose eyes are barely visible above the teddy and quilt, just nods. Jenn starts setting up for tea while Kelly waited for the questions.
“Well I guess I should have been prepared after your call last night but I…” Jenn hangs her head because she had wanted the miracle.
Kelly just nods in agreement.
“I was praying for the miracle all night long. But when I walked into the house I saw Grace’s face streaked with tears. I was like NOOO. I don’t know how long she was alone! I never asked. I should have known Kris was barely hanging on, but I wanted to prepare you with the update.
“She was still fighting to live for Grace!”
Grace walked into the kitchen; clutching teddy like it was alive.
“What is it sweetheart?”
“Where am I to live now Aunt Jenn?” Grace has fear in her eyes!
“Mom and I had made plans that if anything happened I would be your guardian. Your mom loved you so much because you were her blessing! But sweetheart, your body can’t always win the fight!”
“I knew that mama was sick. I knew that she was fighting. But when I crawled into bed, she was so cold. I pulled up the extra blankets. But she wasn’t breathing…”Grace breaks into tears.
Jenn rushes to her and draws her into her embrace. They are crying together and rocking back and forth. Teddy drops to the floor.
Kelly never gave a thought of how Kris was well covered till now! Grace had taken care of her mom every morning.
No child should have to but the love Kris and Grace shared was spell bounding. From the first day Kris brought Grace home till she got too sick to move their love poured out. Every moment that Kris was with Grace pure joy was seen. They loved each other so much. One could only hope to have half that love in a lifetime.
When Kris got sick her first concern was for Grace being alone! Over many cups of tea while Grace was playing, Kris told Kelly the story. Grace was not conceived in love. But as soon as she felt the baby move, it did not matter. From then on the child was loved to pieces. Grace was raised alone with Jenn popped in to help when she could. She had a family who loved her immensely.
But cancer was not an easy thing to conquer. Kris gave it 110% in effort. Last night Kris told Kelly that if anything should happen to take Grace to Jenn’s. It was like she knew that her time was short.
Right after that Grace popped in to tell mom “I love you.” It was a nightly ritual just like Grace crawling for naps. Grace crawled into bed with mom and hugged her deeply. Then she toddled off to bed!
In the morning she always would awake early; crawl into bed with mom, and drift back to sleep. It was part of at tradition Kris started when she was nursing. After the early morning snack she would bring Grace to be to sleep a little longer. It was normal for Kelly to pop by and find Kris and Grace asleep some where. In the summer, it was under the apple tree or it could be under a quilt watching a movie. Anywhere was possible.
It was morning teatime everyday for as long as she could remember. Kelly slipped into Kris’ house for a cup of tea. It was a way to check in without making obvious. Both ladies were alone. So they would meet at either house around nine.
After Grace was born, it was always Kris’ place. It was easier for her with the baby. Time stood still as Kelly remembered. When she finally shook the cobwebs from her mind; Jenn is making cocoa and tea. Grace is on a chair reaching for sugar and marshmallows. Always a little helper Grace has been as soon as she could stir. It was like she was trying to be a normal as possible.
The ladies took the tea and head to the living room. Grace drinks half of her hot chocolate. She curls up under the quilt and falls asleep.
The poor tyke is worn out. She has been doing more. More then any child should have. The teddy drops and Jenn reaches to tuck it back in. She noticed the glow. She remembered how her guardian angel used to hide in her teddy around adults. When she thought back she remembered all the other times teddy glowed.
“Thanks for being there for Grace.” She whispered.
Teddy winks as he is tucked under Grace’s arm under the quilt.
Dragon Dreams
Dragons race through my mind. They have had my attention since I was a little girl. As I stand on the edge of the forest glade I wait to see my favourite set of bright blue scales flash across the sky.
My sweet Sylestrial should be returning soon. As I look for her flying in to greet me, I see two other dragons approaching. What is unusual is that one dragon has no rider! It is rare that I don’t see dragons without riders unless they are foraging. I take a step into the glade. Maybe they will fly past me.
I watch from under the overhanging branches as the dragons circle the sky. They land and walk toward me. I look skyward again hoping Syle will arrive soon!
The rider dismounts, he pauses briefly to caress his dragon. As he approaches, I look him over carefully. I am still what they want with me.
He is dressed like most riders that I have seen. There is no flashing colours revealing alliances. Most riders wear long sleeves shirts and a heavier vest over it. Flying under the trees tends to scratch bare skin.
Where is Syle? She should have been back by now! There have been skirmishes between several of the kingdoms. I have been trying to stay neutral and avoid the battles.
I watch as the rider approaches the edge of the forest. He is scanning the area trying to locate me. I might as well show myself because it doesn’t look like he is going to give up.
I look past the riders to the dragons. The one that he was riding has golden scales like the morning sun. The dragon that arrived solo is as dark as coal with a golden face. But what could they possibly want with me?
“I know this is a little unusual. You are Kali right? You recently left the Grey Ridge Colony, the dragon colony.”
“Yes that’s me. Why are you looking for me?” I tip my head slightly in confusion.
“My name is Jaran. You are known to many people because of your connections with dragons.”
“I came to ask you to come with me to Auron Woods Castle!”
“I will need to wait for my dragon to arrive.” I look to the sky once more watching for Syle’s arrival.
“She will join you on the way to the castle. With all the recent skirmishes, we are taking extra precautions. Somehow it seems that our plans are known before they happened.” Jaran looks perplexed.
“So for that reason all newcomers to the castle are being smoked and dragons get steamed.” Jaran pauses allowing me to start puzzling through the information.
“So where is Syle and what do you mean smoked?”
“Syle is probably at the Hot Springs. She can immerse herself in the springs and then another dragon will breathe fire across the water once she is totally under. The water will force any unwanted hitchhikers to the surface and the fire will kill them.”
“What about me?” I ask unsure if I really want to know.
“With your permission Auradonis the black dragon will breath smoke on you and Austrylial, my dragon will burn anything that crawls to the ground. Once you have been half smoked, Auradonis will pick you up in his tail. Austrylial will have a clear path to burn without harming you.”
I just nod as the fellow rider backs out of the burn radius. Donis starts smoking me from my head down and once he hits my waist he lifts me off the ground and continues. Austry burns everything that drops to the ground. Nothing could survive that smoke and intense flame. He sets me down.
“You can ride Auradonis. His rider has been injured during mission to gather information and is resting at the castle. I heard that you have the ability to hear and speak to dragons not your own. The plan is to fly half way back the castle and rest for the night. Your dragon will find us. We humans can rest there before making the rest of the trip.”
Austry tosses her head almost in laughter. I can’t help but to chuckle also Austry found the human reference funny.
I tentatively reach out to Donis in my mind.
Hello Donis looks like I will be riding you for a while. Is that okay?
With typical Sylestrial fashion, Donis dips his head to caress my back. Or is it dragon fashion. I have seen other dragons nuzzle their riders in affection that way too. He offers me a knee to climb up.
Please climb up and ride between my wings. I will protect you until your dragon joins us. His sincerity relieves my mind.
In the mountains, Sylestrial is frustrated. She has been herded to this pool by another dragon. This dragon that is as black as the moonless sky will not let her come to me. She feels my anguish.
You need to immerse yourself in the springs. Once you get down below the surface, I will burn anything that rises to the top. There has been an outbreak of spies and we are baffled on how they are tracking us. He tries to explain why she is here and not allowed to join me just yet.
The prince decided to try this approach. It has had results with none of the recent attacks working. Your mistress will be smoked by one of the dragons. Once you get done with your bath you can fly to her.
The prince came to meet her personally. Her connection with you and her ability to connect to other dragons has become well know. It is not a very common gift.
Sylestrial reaches out in her mind to reassure herself that I am safe. Her mental nudge is a familiar caress. We are relieved that both of us are safe but she wasn’t pleased with the image of Donis smoking me.
I can’t help but giggle because even I found it funny.
A relieved Sylestrial slides into the springs no longer fighting. The other dragon Malik dressed sharply in black scales and with a few horns running down the back of his head burns across the surface. He reaches out to her mind letting her know that is safe to surface.
Now my lady can I escort you to your mistress. Malik offers a dragon like bow.
Sylestrial is taken back by his voice as she climbs out of the pool. Her only thoughts are about her need to get to me. She barely looks at him or notices his flirtatious glance. She shivers slightly as the water drips from her scales. With a desire to see me okay she takes to the air flying.
Malik watches with a heart felt sigh, his blue scaled dream flying away.
After Syle’s sweet mental caress I mount Donis’ back using his wing and neck to help with balance. Once I am secure, I take the time to glance over to the other rider.
He is securely mounted on his dragon. He leans over affectionately caressing her neck. Austry tips her head and nips at his hat playing as if she would take it.
This playful banter is typical between dragons and their riders. It is similar to the love connected relationship like Sylestrial and I share. With a nod that we riders share the dragons take to the air.
Austry and her rider lead the way. We are about an hour into the flight just above a forest when we are attacked. From within the shelter of the trees an attack starts with arrows shooting aimed at the wings.
As the dragons fly manoeuvring to avoid the arrows, Auradonis reminds me to hang on. He dives for the trees in self-defence. Knowing the way battles happen I reach for my sword. Donis weaves in and out of the branches trying to throw the attackers off balance. He dips and races under the lowest level of some branches.
Donis misjudges one of the branches and I get knocked off. At least I wasn’t trapped beneath him as he himself tumbles. He hurries to regain his footing. Unsure if anyone attacker is near he frantic looks around the woods while trying to regain his footing. He pauses momentarily to ensure that I am okay. He tips his head scanning me for obvious injuries.
Go help Austry! I will be fine. I stand up brushing myself off.
He hesitates briefly searching my mind for some sign of injury. Only when he is certain there is not injuries does he barrel through the woods to assist Austry. Donis barely makes it to see Jaran strikes the last attacker down. Austry had taken down her attackers but not without sustaining injuries.
I reach out to Donis wanting to be assured what is going on. With my connections I can see through his eyes. I also need to know how far ahead they are from me. With Donis’ eyes I can see which path he took and know that they are not too far ahead. I scramble through the under brush to rejoin the dragons.
Austry is the most injured since she took the brunt of the attack by drawing them away from me. Her rider is treating her wounds as I finally reach them. I check with Donis to see if there are any major injuries on him. I found a few visible scratches, which I clean up fairly quickly. I reach out again but this time I check in with Austry.
Austry is okay. I watch what happened during the attack in her mind. Austry and Jaran had led the fight away from Donis and I. I pause briefly. I look deep into her eyes questioning why?
In her mind I see the cavern of dragon eggs without riders. I can see what my future might unfold. Considering my abilities I can find the people that need to be riders. But more then that I can see the heart of the dragon unborn and influence for the greater good. That is why I was protected at the expense of the Prince.
With all this information I teeter losing my balance. Before I can fall Austry nips my shirt. Why am I so important? I ponder all that I was shown.
You are as important as my rider is. Without you so many eggs will lay dormant for centuries unable to find suitable riders.
He will guide you to the inner sanctum of the dragon lair and there you will be alone except for your Sylestrial. She will mother the eggs until such a time when you can match them with the riders. With your strong connection the riders can be found without you risking your life by leaving the castle.
Something happened without me seeing it. When Austry lets go of my shirt, Donis has his front claw placed behind me. But not to catch me he supports me so I will not fall.
I reach out to Austry inquiring if I can help with the healing. I am worried about her since she got hurt because of me.
My rider is almost done. But could you scratch between my horns? He has to clean up first and this itch is driving me nuts. Austry teases.
The prince reaches out to Austry. He voices his concern within her mind.
She wanted to help and you were almost done. She is overwhelmed and needed to feel normal if only for a moment. Austry coos in tenderness.
Once I scratch between her horns Austry purrs. I tilt my head and smiles. Her voice is so sweet. But I am aware of something coming and I need to move now! Without looking or speaking I walk into the clearing. My eyes are still connected to Austry’s. My body moves to where I am meant to be.
Donis shifts on his feet and moves to watch me. He stands alert ready to protect me. I know what is coming and lift my hand up. As my hand reaches up I connect with a tail. I caress it as my Lady Sylestrial flies above me just before she circles in for a landing.
Sylestrial always knows where I am and dipped her tail to touch me. She needed to connect to me. Syle lands just ahead and turns her head to look me over. She gives me a once over with both her eyes and her mind. I rush into her caressing wings. I hear her sigh in my mind as I sigh.
Auradonis looks at us worried unsure what to expect. His glance narrows as he watches but only until he sees the love shared between us. I had looked up at my sweet Syle and caressed her face as she licked mine. She missed me and greeted me in the old fashion way.
Sylestrial eyes the others. She isn’t happy that I was put in danger. She gives them the once over until she can be sure upon which side they are on. Her eyes glare somewhat until she sees that Austry was hurt. Her heart reaches out to mine with concern. In my mind she discovers why we are so important.
My sweet Sylestrial should be returning soon. As I look for her flying in to greet me, I see two other dragons approaching. What is unusual is that one dragon has no rider! It is rare that I don’t see dragons without riders unless they are foraging. I take a step into the glade. Maybe they will fly past me.
I watch from under the overhanging branches as the dragons circle the sky. They land and walk toward me. I look skyward again hoping Syle will arrive soon!
The rider dismounts, he pauses briefly to caress his dragon. As he approaches, I look him over carefully. I am still what they want with me.
He is dressed like most riders that I have seen. There is no flashing colours revealing alliances. Most riders wear long sleeves shirts and a heavier vest over it. Flying under the trees tends to scratch bare skin.
Where is Syle? She should have been back by now! There have been skirmishes between several of the kingdoms. I have been trying to stay neutral and avoid the battles.
I watch as the rider approaches the edge of the forest. He is scanning the area trying to locate me. I might as well show myself because it doesn’t look like he is going to give up.
I look past the riders to the dragons. The one that he was riding has golden scales like the morning sun. The dragon that arrived solo is as dark as coal with a golden face. But what could they possibly want with me?
“I know this is a little unusual. You are Kali right? You recently left the Grey Ridge Colony, the dragon colony.”
“Yes that’s me. Why are you looking for me?” I tip my head slightly in confusion.
“My name is Jaran. You are known to many people because of your connections with dragons.”
“I came to ask you to come with me to Auron Woods Castle!”
“I will need to wait for my dragon to arrive.” I look to the sky once more watching for Syle’s arrival.
“She will join you on the way to the castle. With all the recent skirmishes, we are taking extra precautions. Somehow it seems that our plans are known before they happened.” Jaran looks perplexed.
“So for that reason all newcomers to the castle are being smoked and dragons get steamed.” Jaran pauses allowing me to start puzzling through the information.
“So where is Syle and what do you mean smoked?”
“Syle is probably at the Hot Springs. She can immerse herself in the springs and then another dragon will breathe fire across the water once she is totally under. The water will force any unwanted hitchhikers to the surface and the fire will kill them.”
“What about me?” I ask unsure if I really want to know.
“With your permission Auradonis the black dragon will breath smoke on you and Austrylial, my dragon will burn anything that crawls to the ground. Once you have been half smoked, Auradonis will pick you up in his tail. Austrylial will have a clear path to burn without harming you.”
I just nod as the fellow rider backs out of the burn radius. Donis starts smoking me from my head down and once he hits my waist he lifts me off the ground and continues. Austry burns everything that drops to the ground. Nothing could survive that smoke and intense flame. He sets me down.
“You can ride Auradonis. His rider has been injured during mission to gather information and is resting at the castle. I heard that you have the ability to hear and speak to dragons not your own. The plan is to fly half way back the castle and rest for the night. Your dragon will find us. We humans can rest there before making the rest of the trip.”
Austry tosses her head almost in laughter. I can’t help but to chuckle also Austry found the human reference funny.
I tentatively reach out to Donis in my mind.
Hello Donis looks like I will be riding you for a while. Is that okay?
With typical Sylestrial fashion, Donis dips his head to caress my back. Or is it dragon fashion. I have seen other dragons nuzzle their riders in affection that way too. He offers me a knee to climb up.
Please climb up and ride between my wings. I will protect you until your dragon joins us. His sincerity relieves my mind.
In the mountains, Sylestrial is frustrated. She has been herded to this pool by another dragon. This dragon that is as black as the moonless sky will not let her come to me. She feels my anguish.
You need to immerse yourself in the springs. Once you get down below the surface, I will burn anything that rises to the top. There has been an outbreak of spies and we are baffled on how they are tracking us. He tries to explain why she is here and not allowed to join me just yet.
The prince decided to try this approach. It has had results with none of the recent attacks working. Your mistress will be smoked by one of the dragons. Once you get done with your bath you can fly to her.
The prince came to meet her personally. Her connection with you and her ability to connect to other dragons has become well know. It is not a very common gift.
Sylestrial reaches out in her mind to reassure herself that I am safe. Her mental nudge is a familiar caress. We are relieved that both of us are safe but she wasn’t pleased with the image of Donis smoking me.
I can’t help but giggle because even I found it funny.
A relieved Sylestrial slides into the springs no longer fighting. The other dragon Malik dressed sharply in black scales and with a few horns running down the back of his head burns across the surface. He reaches out to her mind letting her know that is safe to surface.
Now my lady can I escort you to your mistress. Malik offers a dragon like bow.
Sylestrial is taken back by his voice as she climbs out of the pool. Her only thoughts are about her need to get to me. She barely looks at him or notices his flirtatious glance. She shivers slightly as the water drips from her scales. With a desire to see me okay she takes to the air flying.
Malik watches with a heart felt sigh, his blue scaled dream flying away.
After Syle’s sweet mental caress I mount Donis’ back using his wing and neck to help with balance. Once I am secure, I take the time to glance over to the other rider.
He is securely mounted on his dragon. He leans over affectionately caressing her neck. Austry tips her head and nips at his hat playing as if she would take it.
This playful banter is typical between dragons and their riders. It is similar to the love connected relationship like Sylestrial and I share. With a nod that we riders share the dragons take to the air.
Austry and her rider lead the way. We are about an hour into the flight just above a forest when we are attacked. From within the shelter of the trees an attack starts with arrows shooting aimed at the wings.
As the dragons fly manoeuvring to avoid the arrows, Auradonis reminds me to hang on. He dives for the trees in self-defence. Knowing the way battles happen I reach for my sword. Donis weaves in and out of the branches trying to throw the attackers off balance. He dips and races under the lowest level of some branches.
Donis misjudges one of the branches and I get knocked off. At least I wasn’t trapped beneath him as he himself tumbles. He hurries to regain his footing. Unsure if anyone attacker is near he frantic looks around the woods while trying to regain his footing. He pauses momentarily to ensure that I am okay. He tips his head scanning me for obvious injuries.
Go help Austry! I will be fine. I stand up brushing myself off.
He hesitates briefly searching my mind for some sign of injury. Only when he is certain there is not injuries does he barrel through the woods to assist Austry. Donis barely makes it to see Jaran strikes the last attacker down. Austry had taken down her attackers but not without sustaining injuries.
I reach out to Donis wanting to be assured what is going on. With my connections I can see through his eyes. I also need to know how far ahead they are from me. With Donis’ eyes I can see which path he took and know that they are not too far ahead. I scramble through the under brush to rejoin the dragons.
Austry is the most injured since she took the brunt of the attack by drawing them away from me. Her rider is treating her wounds as I finally reach them. I check with Donis to see if there are any major injuries on him. I found a few visible scratches, which I clean up fairly quickly. I reach out again but this time I check in with Austry.
Austry is okay. I watch what happened during the attack in her mind. Austry and Jaran had led the fight away from Donis and I. I pause briefly. I look deep into her eyes questioning why?
In her mind I see the cavern of dragon eggs without riders. I can see what my future might unfold. Considering my abilities I can find the people that need to be riders. But more then that I can see the heart of the dragon unborn and influence for the greater good. That is why I was protected at the expense of the Prince.
With all this information I teeter losing my balance. Before I can fall Austry nips my shirt. Why am I so important? I ponder all that I was shown.
You are as important as my rider is. Without you so many eggs will lay dormant for centuries unable to find suitable riders.
He will guide you to the inner sanctum of the dragon lair and there you will be alone except for your Sylestrial. She will mother the eggs until such a time when you can match them with the riders. With your strong connection the riders can be found without you risking your life by leaving the castle.
Something happened without me seeing it. When Austry lets go of my shirt, Donis has his front claw placed behind me. But not to catch me he supports me so I will not fall.
I reach out to Austry inquiring if I can help with the healing. I am worried about her since she got hurt because of me.
My rider is almost done. But could you scratch between my horns? He has to clean up first and this itch is driving me nuts. Austry teases.
The prince reaches out to Austry. He voices his concern within her mind.
She wanted to help and you were almost done. She is overwhelmed and needed to feel normal if only for a moment. Austry coos in tenderness.
Once I scratch between her horns Austry purrs. I tilt my head and smiles. Her voice is so sweet. But I am aware of something coming and I need to move now! Without looking or speaking I walk into the clearing. My eyes are still connected to Austry’s. My body moves to where I am meant to be.
Donis shifts on his feet and moves to watch me. He stands alert ready to protect me. I know what is coming and lift my hand up. As my hand reaches up I connect with a tail. I caress it as my Lady Sylestrial flies above me just before she circles in for a landing.
Sylestrial always knows where I am and dipped her tail to touch me. She needed to connect to me. Syle lands just ahead and turns her head to look me over. She gives me a once over with both her eyes and her mind. I rush into her caressing wings. I hear her sigh in my mind as I sigh.
Auradonis looks at us worried unsure what to expect. His glance narrows as he watches but only until he sees the love shared between us. I had looked up at my sweet Syle and caressed her face as she licked mine. She missed me and greeted me in the old fashion way.
Sylestrial eyes the others. She isn’t happy that I was put in danger. She gives them the once over until she can be sure upon which side they are on. Her eyes glare somewhat until she sees that Austry was hurt. Her heart reaches out to mine with concern. In my mind she discovers why we are so important.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Casey's Story:Her Gift To Us
Where do I start? I guess the logical place would be in September before Casey was born. I had an ultrasound test to verify the weight of baby and water since I was so big. The doctor was concerned and now I guess I'm glad I found out then what I did. I was carrying mainly water but there was a heart abnormality as well. I had to go to London for a more extensive test. Drinking all the water before going to London wasn't fun with the 401 and the main road into London under road repair construction.
Clarence, Mike (daddy) and I went to St. Joseph hospital. They wanted me to go for a Level Three Ultrasound, which was a more in-depth level scan of the unborn child. They were talking with terms that I knew but like I was not there. They were talking about the arteries and chambers of the heart. The technician had called her supervisor and was talking as if I had no ears. Finally they asked me to go to the bathroom because they were having trouble getting an accurate picture with all the water. They also asked if anyone was with me. Now that they had scared me they asked if I had someone for support. Mike arrived a few minutes before they returned and was consoling me since I was so shaken up by the conversation. I was explaining why I was upset so this time he was prepared.
This memory was described as I felt at that very moment. The head radiologist came just after Mike arrived. Then finally the team started talking to both of us about what they were seeing. They were explaining what problems they saw with the heart. I was a mess needless to say. They told me what was there and what was missing. They gave the heart issue a name. The staff wanted me to return on Friday to see the Head of Cardiology and to have an amniocentesis would be done at that time. (An amniocentesis is a test that physicians can do on expectant women. It uses a very long needle to remove the fluid around the baby for testing. It is taken through the tummy wall.)
What they failed to plan was that I was still working. They told me that I might go into labor afterwards. I also had to make arrangements to not be working and transfer the keys to the store. I had planned to still work for at least two weeks yet. I went home and made arrangements to transfer the store and return the following Monday to the hospital.
I had made arrangements with Daddy's boss to take me down to London. When I told mom (Grandma Gail) what was going on and that I would be alone for the test she was not happy. Mom decided to drive down to be there with me during the test since Daddy had to work. She also stayed with me until after the test. She then got me settled into my room. What a rough time I had! Mom wasn't comfortable driving the 401. She had been living on Manitoulin Island so she was used to a slower pace of driving. Constantly I was having tests for baby’s heart rate to ensure it was stable when they could pin her down.
With what I refer to as her swimming pool the nursing staff had trouble getting the rate. She kept moving on them. The staff told mom that my blood pressure was high and they were concerned. I told mom what they had expected to find. I was in the hospital being poked and tested. I didn't have any idea if my child would survive or when she would arrive. No wonder my pressure was so screwy.
With the heart condition they thought it was, I didn't have any idea what was going to happen. I was alone on the side for moms who had given birth. After a few days a bed opened and I was transferred to the neonatal side of the floor. Finally I met other mothers who were also waiting to deliver their child. These mothers had issues with pregnancy and were in varied stages of pregnancy. No longer alone did seem to help me somewhat.
Anyone less than thirty-six weeks in the pregnancy stayed at St Joseph. I met a girl who was in the hospital for almost five weeks and another carrying twins whose water had broken but the twins had survived with pockets of birth-sac near by. They were born just a few days before my daughter. There were others who would be there longer because they were very early in the pregnancy and needed bed rest.
We had an induced labor planned for Thursday. Both Daddy and Grandma Gail were in attendance. They had come down the night before and stayed at a house near by for people with patients in the hospital. Unknown to me I had started to have labor the afternoon before. My backache was actually back labor pains. Casey wanted to come out to see us and was getting impatient.
The next day the nurses woke me and we started by seven thirty in the morning. Grandma Gail never told me that she had back labor with her first child. Daddy and Grandma Gail arrive just before eight so they could all be there for the birth. When I got to the Labor Room, I told the staff to add extra padding to the bed. The little blue pads would not be enough. I had informed the ladies that I was carrying a lot of water. I started a drug in my IV to increase my contractions.
During the labour pains I never said a word. The student nurse realized that I was focusing quietly during contractions. She just asked the number for verification when the cycle was done. She was pleased on how well I was handling the labour pains.
When the intern OB decided to break the sac to get things progressing, I warned her as well! They put two long flannel sheets in rolls along the bed edge to stop the water from hitting the floor or the OB intern since she already had changed once. She didn't believe me but she still got splashed.
The next few minutes were rather hectic. Grandma Gail and daddy left when the heart rate dropped since it was a tiny room. First a fetal clip was attached to Casey's head to monitor her heart rate. They had to stop trying to move Casey to the birthing channel because her heart rate dropped. They let her settle and they tried to remove as much water as possible from the bed with suction. They stopped after a cylinder and a half later. They were trying to move Casey down towards the birth canal. So I wouldn't be laying in water while they remade the bed with me in it. Casey was not happy with my position being changed and her heart rate dropped again.
After the second time I was rushed to the operating room for an emergency surgery to deliver my child. Since I had opted not to use any drugs for pain I had to be put to sleep for surgery and delivery. I barely remember much except for the cloth being hung between the doctor and me. Cassandra Lilian Hamilton was born at eleven fifty nine am Thursday, October 22, 1998. When I woke up in the Recovery Room daddy was there. The doctor told him that we had a boy. Daddy told me.
The doctor had delivered too many babies that morning and didn't remember which father went with which child. The student nurse corrected him and informed him that it was a girl. She was present when my sweet angel was delivered. She had followed me from delivery to recovery to continue the monitoring. Both the student nurses were still with me one was from labor and the other delivery. I was in so much pain all I remember is saying it hurts in a raspy voice and that I wasn't listening to the conversation.
I was given drugs then proceeded to go back to sleep. I woke up the second time back in a room with daddy and his brother Bryan. He had arrived during one of my waking moments with flowers. Grandma Gail had seen my angel and gone home. Everyone saw my baby girl before me. All I saw was a picture of my little red head with a lot of tubes and oxygen. She was in an islet. It is a special crib for small babies who need warmth and oxygen rich air to survive. It maintains the proper body temperature especially when the kids are born too early and need help to live.
It was the next day before I was able to go down and see my girl. I wasn't able to walk but I could ride a wheelchair. Casey wasn't able to nurse but I was still pumping the milk for her so she would have the anti-bodies. They had to shave her hair in spots for IV needles. On babies they use those veins because they are easier to find. They saved the hair in a little bag for us. There was also a tube in her belly button to remove excess acid fluids. Since she wasn't able to eat properly the stomach acids needed to be kept under control. They told me that once Casey was stable but would go to Victoria Hospital for a more accurate heart testing.
It would be with the head pediatric cardiologist. They wanted to know exactly what her heart was doing since they couldn't get a clear picture before. We finally got to hold her, which was a bit of a challenge with all the lines, and monitor leads. She was so tiny. She had curly fine red hair and blue eyes. It was love at first sight of course! She was stable, thank heaven. She had a lot of visitors those first few days but the neonatal had limits. (Neonatal Unit is for babies who need extra care because they were born too early or cause of health issues. They needed extra special attention.) Because the space was limited and because of the health of the tiny occupants there were restrictions for this specialized nursery.
Catherine and Tish (two of students on staff at work) got to hold her and take pictures. My godparents also came and saw my angel. But Mike's uncle Bob and Aunt Sheila didn't get to see her because of the limit. I was pumping breast milk for Casey as often as a normal mom would nurse. I went to see her as often as I could. If I had help, I held her as well. I would hold her as long as I could before she got too cold or I needed a nap. Having a caesarian can be just as draining as a normal birth.
It was day four when she went for her first echo cardiogram. It is a test that shows what the heart is doing. I was told to go with her by the cardiac team. But the nurses at St Joseph never told me when she was going, I told to stay because she was to return there. I waited and worried about what they would find. As the afternoon progressed I became increasingly nervous about my girl. I had been discharged and found myself lost without her.
It was a strain because she remained at Victoria. I had no clue where she was and what was happening! All new mothers ride an emotional roller coaster of ups and downs. My mom (Gail) got the social worker involved. The social worker was trying to calm me down before I went into panic mode. She was making calls to locate my daughter. It didn't work well until I was told to go to Victoria Hospital. Casey was staying there.
I wasn't happy but I at least knew where my daughter was finally. Mom and I packed up and drove to Victoria Hospital. Once we got inside, I went to the admitting desk to find out where Casey was. A volunteer guided me to the PCCU or Pediatric Critical Care Unit. This unit is for kids under eighteen who need constant watching after birth or surgery. I was told to wash my hands before I was allowed to enter.
(c) July 2006
Clarence, Mike (daddy) and I went to St. Joseph hospital. They wanted me to go for a Level Three Ultrasound, which was a more in-depth level scan of the unborn child. They were talking with terms that I knew but like I was not there. They were talking about the arteries and chambers of the heart. The technician had called her supervisor and was talking as if I had no ears. Finally they asked me to go to the bathroom because they were having trouble getting an accurate picture with all the water. They also asked if anyone was with me. Now that they had scared me they asked if I had someone for support. Mike arrived a few minutes before they returned and was consoling me since I was so shaken up by the conversation. I was explaining why I was upset so this time he was prepared.
This memory was described as I felt at that very moment. The head radiologist came just after Mike arrived. Then finally the team started talking to both of us about what they were seeing. They were explaining what problems they saw with the heart. I was a mess needless to say. They told me what was there and what was missing. They gave the heart issue a name. The staff wanted me to return on Friday to see the Head of Cardiology and to have an amniocentesis would be done at that time. (An amniocentesis is a test that physicians can do on expectant women. It uses a very long needle to remove the fluid around the baby for testing. It is taken through the tummy wall.)
What they failed to plan was that I was still working. They told me that I might go into labor afterwards. I also had to make arrangements to not be working and transfer the keys to the store. I had planned to still work for at least two weeks yet. I went home and made arrangements to transfer the store and return the following Monday to the hospital.
I had made arrangements with Daddy's boss to take me down to London. When I told mom (Grandma Gail) what was going on and that I would be alone for the test she was not happy. Mom decided to drive down to be there with me during the test since Daddy had to work. She also stayed with me until after the test. She then got me settled into my room. What a rough time I had! Mom wasn't comfortable driving the 401. She had been living on Manitoulin Island so she was used to a slower pace of driving. Constantly I was having tests for baby’s heart rate to ensure it was stable when they could pin her down.
With what I refer to as her swimming pool the nursing staff had trouble getting the rate. She kept moving on them. The staff told mom that my blood pressure was high and they were concerned. I told mom what they had expected to find. I was in the hospital being poked and tested. I didn't have any idea if my child would survive or when she would arrive. No wonder my pressure was so screwy.
With the heart condition they thought it was, I didn't have any idea what was going to happen. I was alone on the side for moms who had given birth. After a few days a bed opened and I was transferred to the neonatal side of the floor. Finally I met other mothers who were also waiting to deliver their child. These mothers had issues with pregnancy and were in varied stages of pregnancy. No longer alone did seem to help me somewhat.
Anyone less than thirty-six weeks in the pregnancy stayed at St Joseph. I met a girl who was in the hospital for almost five weeks and another carrying twins whose water had broken but the twins had survived with pockets of birth-sac near by. They were born just a few days before my daughter. There were others who would be there longer because they were very early in the pregnancy and needed bed rest.
We had an induced labor planned for Thursday. Both Daddy and Grandma Gail were in attendance. They had come down the night before and stayed at a house near by for people with patients in the hospital. Unknown to me I had started to have labor the afternoon before. My backache was actually back labor pains. Casey wanted to come out to see us and was getting impatient.
The next day the nurses woke me and we started by seven thirty in the morning. Grandma Gail never told me that she had back labor with her first child. Daddy and Grandma Gail arrive just before eight so they could all be there for the birth. When I got to the Labor Room, I told the staff to add extra padding to the bed. The little blue pads would not be enough. I had informed the ladies that I was carrying a lot of water. I started a drug in my IV to increase my contractions.
During the labour pains I never said a word. The student nurse realized that I was focusing quietly during contractions. She just asked the number for verification when the cycle was done. She was pleased on how well I was handling the labour pains.
When the intern OB decided to break the sac to get things progressing, I warned her as well! They put two long flannel sheets in rolls along the bed edge to stop the water from hitting the floor or the OB intern since she already had changed once. She didn't believe me but she still got splashed.
The next few minutes were rather hectic. Grandma Gail and daddy left when the heart rate dropped since it was a tiny room. First a fetal clip was attached to Casey's head to monitor her heart rate. They had to stop trying to move Casey to the birthing channel because her heart rate dropped. They let her settle and they tried to remove as much water as possible from the bed with suction. They stopped after a cylinder and a half later. They were trying to move Casey down towards the birth canal. So I wouldn't be laying in water while they remade the bed with me in it. Casey was not happy with my position being changed and her heart rate dropped again.
After the second time I was rushed to the operating room for an emergency surgery to deliver my child. Since I had opted not to use any drugs for pain I had to be put to sleep for surgery and delivery. I barely remember much except for the cloth being hung between the doctor and me. Cassandra Lilian Hamilton was born at eleven fifty nine am Thursday, October 22, 1998. When I woke up in the Recovery Room daddy was there. The doctor told him that we had a boy. Daddy told me.
The doctor had delivered too many babies that morning and didn't remember which father went with which child. The student nurse corrected him and informed him that it was a girl. She was present when my sweet angel was delivered. She had followed me from delivery to recovery to continue the monitoring. Both the student nurses were still with me one was from labor and the other delivery. I was in so much pain all I remember is saying it hurts in a raspy voice and that I wasn't listening to the conversation.
I was given drugs then proceeded to go back to sleep. I woke up the second time back in a room with daddy and his brother Bryan. He had arrived during one of my waking moments with flowers. Grandma Gail had seen my angel and gone home. Everyone saw my baby girl before me. All I saw was a picture of my little red head with a lot of tubes and oxygen. She was in an islet. It is a special crib for small babies who need warmth and oxygen rich air to survive. It maintains the proper body temperature especially when the kids are born too early and need help to live.
It was the next day before I was able to go down and see my girl. I wasn't able to walk but I could ride a wheelchair. Casey wasn't able to nurse but I was still pumping the milk for her so she would have the anti-bodies. They had to shave her hair in spots for IV needles. On babies they use those veins because they are easier to find. They saved the hair in a little bag for us. There was also a tube in her belly button to remove excess acid fluids. Since she wasn't able to eat properly the stomach acids needed to be kept under control. They told me that once Casey was stable but would go to Victoria Hospital for a more accurate heart testing.
It would be with the head pediatric cardiologist. They wanted to know exactly what her heart was doing since they couldn't get a clear picture before. We finally got to hold her, which was a bit of a challenge with all the lines, and monitor leads. She was so tiny. She had curly fine red hair and blue eyes. It was love at first sight of course! She was stable, thank heaven. She had a lot of visitors those first few days but the neonatal had limits. (Neonatal Unit is for babies who need extra care because they were born too early or cause of health issues. They needed extra special attention.) Because the space was limited and because of the health of the tiny occupants there were restrictions for this specialized nursery.
Catherine and Tish (two of students on staff at work) got to hold her and take pictures. My godparents also came and saw my angel. But Mike's uncle Bob and Aunt Sheila didn't get to see her because of the limit. I was pumping breast milk for Casey as often as a normal mom would nurse. I went to see her as often as I could. If I had help, I held her as well. I would hold her as long as I could before she got too cold or I needed a nap. Having a caesarian can be just as draining as a normal birth.
It was day four when she went for her first echo cardiogram. It is a test that shows what the heart is doing. I was told to go with her by the cardiac team. But the nurses at St Joseph never told me when she was going, I told to stay because she was to return there. I waited and worried about what they would find. As the afternoon progressed I became increasingly nervous about my girl. I had been discharged and found myself lost without her.
It was a strain because she remained at Victoria. I had no clue where she was and what was happening! All new mothers ride an emotional roller coaster of ups and downs. My mom (Gail) got the social worker involved. The social worker was trying to calm me down before I went into panic mode. She was making calls to locate my daughter. It didn't work well until I was told to go to Victoria Hospital. Casey was staying there.
I wasn't happy but I at least knew where my daughter was finally. Mom and I packed up and drove to Victoria Hospital. Once we got inside, I went to the admitting desk to find out where Casey was. A volunteer guided me to the PCCU or Pediatric Critical Care Unit. This unit is for kids under eighteen who need constant watching after birth or surgery. I was told to wash my hands before I was allowed to enter.
(c) July 2006
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